Hello, it’s me


I was wondering if after all these years you’d like to meet…

Channeling Adele and taking a leap back into this whole writing thing. I don’t even know how long it’s been since I last wrote anything that wasn’t an email or text message, so here I go again (and again, and again.)

Writing is a practice, much like learning a language or an instrument (both things I’d very much like to do,) and I have not been giving any real time to my practice. I have been pretty much avoiding it. I’m not entirely sure why, but I have some ideas – first and foremost is the stress that has been weighing on me since my mother was diagnosed with Stage VI Squamous Cell Carcinoma of the Soft Palette in March of 2014. That’s nearly two years, I know. Talk about avoidance.

I don’t particularly like to make resolutions, because they tend to make me feel as though I am setting myself up for failure. Instead, I’d like to take some of the things I’ve learned in the last few years, as well as more recently, and begin to actively apply them to my daily life.

Early last year, a friend and I decided to take a leap and register for an event our favorite band, Hanson has hosted for the last four years. It’s called Back to the Island, and is essentially a vacation with the band. I know, this sounds both super nerdy and crazy, and I can assure you it was both. As with any fandom there is a spectrum of lunacy, and I am grateful that my closest friends who share this fandom with me, and I fall somewhere in the middle to normalish range. We certainly do some things most people would consider odd (going to multiple shows, traveling to other cities for shows, traveling to Jamaica to tie-dye and make bracelets with two the band members…) but even after all these years being a fan (we’re going into year 19 in 2016) I still don’t think I’ve completely found the words to describe how incredible it is to share the live music experience.

I think the closest anyone has gotten was the character Sapphire in the movie ALMOST FAMOUS, when she says, “They don’t even know what is means to be a fan. To truly love some silly little piece of music, or some band, so much that it hurts.” 

Yes, it’s crazy to travel to another country to see your favorite band – but while you’re doing something crazy you just might learn a little bit about yourself, and how to make your life better. I got to meet many other fans this last week, at least two of whom I plan to keep in touch with moving forward – one from Finland. Finland! I’ve made friends over the course of my being a fan that are still my friends today. They live all over the world, and I would never have met them if it weren’t for three brothers, and one silly song.

The thing about having been a Hanson fan for 19 years, is that I never imagined it would be like this. I never realized that 19 years later I would still love them, and their music, just as much as I did when I was 14. I still get excited to hear them perform live, and now, more than ever, listening to a crowd of 400 people all singing along to a song we heard for the first time 19 years ago makes my heart swell.

So, I want to continue to live my life the way I did on the island. Open to new people, and places, and experiences. Open to loving hard, and honestly. Open to kindness, and a little bit of crazy.


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